Saturday, May 25, 2013

Fantasy and privacy

And yet another post. Two in two days, this might become a real blog!

What is difficult and what I have to remember is to keep a handle on my fantasies.  I've been pretty much living on them for a long time, now, and while I was fantasizing about game stuff, that was fine.  (Online role-playing games, called MUSHes.  Multi-User Shared Hallucinations.)

But what I can't allow myself to do is apply those fantasies to people.  I started, and had to pull myself up short yesterday and frankly, I don't need the ow of pulling myself up short.  I keep trying to be realistic and then having people tell me, "Well, don't unnecessarily close doors."  Well, no, but having those doors wide open is sort of like an invitation for me to let the wind blow all the goddamned common sense out of my head.  So I'll just leave my doors alone, when they're supposed to open, they will.

I don't think this was a door that was supposed to open, though, and I'm closing it again.  If I can just keep my damn foot out of it, I might be ok.  Maybe.

Meanwhile, it's a three-day weekend, which, for me, is going to mean three days of no privacy unless I go lie down on the couch with headphones and hiding under the blankets.  Which is a sort of privacy but I can't do it for the full three days.

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